If you lock a million monkeys with typewriters in a room, they'll eventually write Hamlet

Right or wrong? Some evil reporters got a bunch of three year olds to finger-paint "abstract art" which they then smuggled into "Arte", Madrid's main Art Exposition-Gallery.




The critics on the video are describing this as a "tortured drawing" by a "mature personality, probably male", who has strong "repressed sexual urges". So much for two and three year olds.

You can say many things about the King of Spain but you can't say...

that he isn't proper. Or can you?




This happened two years ago, and the victims of the royal gesture were basque separatists, I think.

You suck if...

As writers we sometimes have trouble detecting when our work sucks. The next couple of entries will be devoted to the clues that indicate that your book/story/novel/encyclopedia/whopper sucks.

Number 1: You suck if you have to write your own fake reviews on Amazon

[quote]
The Times has learnt that the new regulations also will apply to authors who praise their own books under a fake identity on websites such as Amazon[/quote]

This means two things.
a. Your work sucks (because nobody else will review it) and
b. You don't have any friends to do your dirty work for you. The true value of friendship is measured by how many people read your unfinished first drafts. If you can't get anyone to give you a serious review in Amazon, then writing is the least of your problems. Again, if your friends are good people and half as honest as mine, you might get a review in Amazon but it might go something like... "nice setting, didn't get what it was about, and what happened to the Reptilian Humanoids? They were in the draft that I read, and I liked them. How many times do I have to tell you not to kill my favorite characters in the rewrite, you idiot! By the way, party tomorrow, Tom's house. Be there."

This is what in Spanish is called "un amigo de la infancia de los cojones". They know who they are. I love you guys.

How do you shower?

Do you shower like a man?

Death and other funny people

Well, the big story I referred to in previous posts is now officially a very rough draft sitting around 8600 words. That's the longest story I've ever written, and I'm not sure if I'm in control anymore. It's developed its own mind, it's own stink, even. I'm a short story writer. Novels are great, and I plan to write one someday, but to have a treacherous little story start sprouting cancerous growth in plot twists and weird subtexts, really pisses me off. Little buggers, I'll teach you to stab me in the back.

On a lighter note: Estigma de Cain tagged me to write 5 things you don't know about me. Hmm, lemme see.
1. When I was a kid, I used to have short dreams strung one after the other like commercials. The setting changed every ten seconds and you never knew if the next dream you were going to get would be a nightmare. Surprise! Horror!
2. When I'm studying medicine, I imagine the various diseases and organs as having their own personalities and voices. It's the only way to stay interested in this crap after 8 straight hours of memorizing.
3. One of my best friends just had her fist baby today. It's the fist baby to be born in our group of friends and I can already feel the philotes twinning around her. Welcome to the conyugato!
4. The keyboard to my laptop is broken, so I write on an old plug-in keyboard. The battery is also broken which means my computer has as many cables coming out of it as a conventional desktop. Not very portable at all.
5. I like chocolate in anything but ice-cream. Everything includes Mexican mole.
Ok, so now leaf and beth, it's your turn.

My brain is busted today from that story/novel wannabe. Excuse the grammar, spelling, typos, and general lack of sense.

Some people are just evil

"Godtouched" is up at Strange Horizons

My short story "Godtouched" is up at Strange Horizons

It's nice to see the story up there. Let's see how everyone likes it