Slow Stampede sold to Asimov's

Ladies and Gents, I give you the storkiphant!

Ok, I'll admit. Slow Stampede is Science Fiction, not fantasy, so the storkiphants' legs are thicker and there's some sort of biological explanation for the weirdness, but that came after I started to write about them. Because they're just awesome. Because Daaaali rocks.

Oh, and there are also some merpeople in the story, but Daaali didn't get around to drawing any pictures of them. Sorry.

Asimov's seems to agree with me because they've bought the story. This is my second sale to Asimov's and I'm all fluttery inside.

"Slow Stampede" went through a long series of revisions which involved fellow writers, co-opted friends, useful rejections and much randomness. My sincere thanks to everyone who helped me get this one off the ground.

Special thanks to Sean Markey who read the last version, printed it out and mailed it for me from the US.

Sean Markey up at Fantasy Magazine

My pal Sean Markey has been published in Fantasy Magazine today. Check out his story, Sorrobird. Magical realism with bite!

Some Lovecraft Spanish Freak Thing

The lyrics (because you couldn't live without them, I know)

Lovecraft, Lovecraft,

Chtulhu Chtulhu brings destruction
It's danced by the sectarians of the sect of Dagon
Give Chtulhu Chtulhu to those dirty gules
before you too imitate them.
It's danced by Yog Sugoth
and the heat falling from heaven
and it's dedicated to the Primogenes.
It's danced by Nyarlotherp
and the fleshless angels
the dogs from Tindalos with bloody lips

Lovecraft, Lovecraft

And the Chtulhu Chtulhu is danced like this:

One: resurrection
Two: absorbs souls.
Three: conquers the World.
Fourth: destruction.

Dance the Chtulhu Chtulhu
Dance the Chtulhu Chtulhu

If it's mispronounced it can lick my a*
They dance it in Arkbain
They dance it in Pknakontos
even though they call the insane idiots.

(repeat)

It's sung by Abdul Al-Hazred
with his Necronomicon
while the flute of Azroth plays a song.

Etc etc. I'm not going to translate further geekery.

The worst part is that this song is based on the one that Spain entered to the Eurovision Contest. Predictably, it was creamed, but at least it lost deliberately, whereas other years Spain had lost pitifully with serious songs.

Here it is, in case your ears weren't bleeding yet.

IROSF reviews Clapping for the Fairies

Here's what Lois Tilton had to say about "Clapping for the Fairies".

A choose-your-own adventure. Some fairies have gone rogue. They kill people. Jade is supposed to kill Green before she can do more harm to the fairy reputation. But Jade is reluctant. She and Green were lovers, once.

The narrator offers Jade alternatives.

That night she crawls under the blankets with you while you sleep. Your body remembers how to wrap itself around hers, reviving comfortable positions that you learned a long time ago. You are almost halfway through lovemaking before you wake up completely, and realize these are the same hands that took a man's life. Whatever she looks like, this is not the Green you fell in love with when you were sixteen. She's grown into something ugly and demented, and no amount of logic on her part can excuse what she does.

If you want Green to die, go to section 5.

If you don't want Green to die, go to section 6.

This is definitely one time when a second-person narrator makes perfect sense, when it contributes a closing to the story that no other technique could have done.

She calls this issue of Helix "a superior one" and gives RECOMMENDEDs to three of the seven stories. Sadly, mine wasn't one of them, but I still think the review was rather positive.