miércoles, 29 de noviembre de 2006

How to spot a Reptilian Humanoid in casual conversation

Reptilian Humanoids are bad. They don't care about anything mammals care about, but they pretend they do so that they can pass as mammals on conquer the Known Universe.
This is a snipped of conversation that gave this particular Reptilian Humanoid away. I'm offering it as a warning to other humans having trouble with RH.

Reptilian Humanoid: "I used to have a very cool cat who could beat up all the neighbourhood dogs" (notice the RH trying to appear mammalian by spouting whoppers so big they'd make Krusty Burger ashamed of itself)
Human: "Wow, your cat had some balls" (notice the oblivious Human randomly agreeing to anything previously said.)
RH: "not really, he was castrated."
Human: "Oh, no, what I meant is that your cat had well placed balls." Human holds his hands into fists around imaginary testicles and holds them over his own genitals to emphasize the point.
RH: "impossible, my cats balls are probably pickled in formol somewhere."
Humans together: "eeew".
RH: "what? What did I say?"

She looked bewildered and didn't really understand what she did wrong until we killed her. She said she was a writer exploring the naivete of one of her characters. She even claimed she was reinventing cringe humour with a literary bent and she went as far as to say that all that weird stuff on her skin was only psoriasis, not reptilian scales.
Yeah right, like any human would know what that means. What really bothers me about this little episode is that I still haven't managed to get all that green goo out of my hair. Bludgeoning is dirty business. Those Reptilian Humanoids are clingy even after they're dead.

1 comentario:

Mike dijo...

loved this, Sara!

'worth working into a series of connected stories