jueves, 29 de marzo de 2007


I went to see the 300 on Friday and the reason I haven't posted about it until now is that I couldn't quite find the adequate quirky tone to describe the film.
First, serious stuff. The art is wonderful. It redefines "poster films" the kind of film that looks even better on poster or pic by pic than it is played out in the cinema. Some of the actors did a very good job and the King and the Queen were my favorites. She looks great in those flimsy dress-togas (although I wouldn't be Spanish if I didn't note that the only reason she can wear dresses like that is because she doesn't have bigger breasts). Ok, you can see that I'm slipping into silliness right away... (clears throat) Let's get back on track.
The computer graphics were pretty cool and the whole movie had the same moody, dark feel of the comic. That said, this film can't hold a candle to Sin City, and this is why:

1. Xerxes sucks. Come on, the guy is about two and a half metres tall but doesn't have the body of a tall man. You can tell they "grew" him artificially with a computer. You've seen basketball players, they're not built like ordinary mortals, so why should I believe that Xerxes is not only taller than any human being in History, but defies physiology as well? Not to speak of his voice, which, at least in the dubbed version, belonged to someone with the thoracic capacity of Hulk, being way to low for such a gangly kid.

2. Xerxes' dialogue sucks. When the King tells him that his soldiers only fight because they fear his whip, Xerxes places a tender hand on his shoulder and says: It's not my whip which they fear but my... which was followed by a roar of laughter from the audience so I couldn't hear how the phrase ended. I feel sorry for the actor. I can just imagine his face when he was told he'd have to say that line. Lame doesn't begin to describe it.

Xerxes bleeds... they make a big fuss about his unmaking as a "god", but heck, he's wearing a trillion piercings, are you telling me he hadn't noticed that he could bleed before? How on Earth did he stick fifty needles into his face without bleeding?

The list goes on and on. These are just examples that throw an Ok movie into the dark-side.

However, there are a few reasons why it's not such a bad idea to go see the film. The aesthetics are good and the imagery is interesting enough to carry the movie on its own. The Spartans, with their computer-sculpted abs are a sight to behold. And the Oracle's hair-color matches her nipples. Some crazy geek took the time to fix that with the computer. Go see the movie, if nothing else to make the crazy geeks happy.

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